I don’t think that I want to say that social media is fake, but I do think it’s important to remember that two things can exist at once.  This picture was the same day that moments earlier, I remember thinking that some days I feel like I’m dying.  Smiling in this, taking a walk, and posting it was the same day that I also felt sick to my stomach with anxiety and cried most of the day.  They both exist. I also remember feeling like if I posted this, it looked like I was happy, but I was far from it. 

What are you feeling?

I feel like if I’m fine, then people might think I don’t need support.  I feel let down by a lot of people in this process.  I feel so alone.  I want to cry when I think about how much I do for my friends, and a lot of moments in this divorce I have felt totally alone.  I’m the friend who would plan a divorce party or trip for a friend.  I don’t really have that and it makes me sad.  I feel sad knowing that there are friends who never really check in. Sometimes my anger is so big about it, I want to cut them off and never talk to them. I want to throw a huge tantrum sometimes.

You have me. And I am the best of the best friends ever. I’m here to hear you, and support you

That is a true thing that makes me breathe easier, I do have you. Can you plan a trip for us?

Yes. I don’t need us to wait for anyone anymore.  It’s me and you! And I am here to celebrate you, be proud of you, build you up.  I know all the hard moments you have been thru.  I know the whole story, and I want nothing back from you.  You can feel safe to be your full self with me, you can be mad, sad, happy- anything, and I’m here for it all